A sense of relief...sorta

Whew! I feel better now after meeting with my Dr. (Dr. G). The morning did not start off to swell. With all this stress going on in my head, I didn't really sleep at all last night. So, that means I of course wake up crabby as all he**. My husband wants me to go crawl back in bed and start over but I'm such a nervous wreck that I get all defensive and more crabby. ha. Finally my nerves start to calm down a bit on the way to Dr. G's office because my husband just laid it all on the line and basically told me that he loved me but I needed to relax if I planned on getting any words out in a proper manner. So we go in and wait for a bit, nerves are boiling, and then the door opens. I'm a bit calmed by her cool, relaxed manner....and the fact that she has a little Pomeranian puppy following her around gave me a smile. Yes, she brings the dog to work and the dogs name is Lilly...she is so ugly, she is cute! haha. Anyway, she starts off by asking me how I feel and then I just go with the flow. Here is basically what I said:

1) I didn't feel comfortable not knowing why I had the ectopic pregnancy.

2) I didn't feel comfortable trying again to have a baby b.c I was scare of another ectopic preg and losing my other tube....I only have one left. 

3) I definitely did not want to go down the road of ART....I was not comfortable with it and it was against my faith.

So then I told her that my cousin approached me and introduced the idea of Dr. H to me. I researched him and I was very attracted to the fact that 1) he has a high success rate and 2) all his practices and work are in accordance to my faith. With knowing all of this and having all these feelings, DH and I felt that this was the best path for us to take...one that made us feel comfortable, safe, and in the arms of God.

The best part.....SHE WAS TOTALLY ALL ABOUT IT!!!!!!! Holy Moly Guacamoly! She expressed her care and love for the two of us, her determination to do whatever she can do to help with this process, and her complete understanding for the importance of my faith and feelings. WOW! Praise the Lord and thank you Holy Spirit for the inspiration to get through this morning.

Now, on the sorta note....I have to go get a mammogram on Tuesday. Nothing major to worry about ( I hope) but I did have cyst a couple months back and she wants to check it out and make sure I am 100% before she lets me go through with the whole Dr. H process. So please pray for that ladies. Just pray that it is nothing...

With all this being said, my mom just called and I just broke down in tears uncontrollably. She is on her way over now to hug me but I just couldn't stop crying. I think this has been weighing on me for a while and with this and all the other concerns ahead with Dr. H and school starting back....I think I just had some hidden stresses and they are all coming out now. Ugh. So, I'll be fine. Momma is on her way over to hug me. Thank you for all your sweet love and support.