God, my Father,

  I thank you for all that you are, and all that you do for me through your son Jesus Christ. I praise you for my life, for your mercy and for your Eucharist. In Jesus' name, Father, I place myself entirely in your Heart. I surrender to you my whole self, my hear, my mind, my memory, my imagination, my will, my emotions, my passions, my body, my sexuality, my desire for human approval, my weaknesses, my desires, my sins.

I surrender every person in my life to you. I surrender every situation in my life to you. I surrender every relationship I am in to you. I surrender every concern I have to you. I surrender every fear I have to you. I surrender every doubt I have to you. I surrender all confusion I have to you. I surrender all sadness I am experiencing in my heart to you. I surrender all the woundedness I have to you. I surrender all anxiety and worry I have to you. I surrender all that deceives me in my heart to you. I trust you to care for me and others ina perfectly loving way.

As I have emptied myself, and surrendered everything to you, I ask you now, Father, to fill me with your Holy Spirit and all the gits and fruits of your Spirit. Holy Spirit you are the source of love, hope, joy, peace, patience, goodness, gentleness, tenderness, faithfulness, humility, and self-control. Purify my desires. Help me to open my heart to you. Help me to become perfectly receptive as a pure child. Help me to believe in your love for me. Help me to hope in your love for me. Help me to receive from the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus all grace and virtues necessary for me to become the person you created me to be. I ask this in the Name of Jesus Christ, Your Son, God Almighty Father.

O'Most Holy Immaculate Virgin Mary. I entrust this prayer to your Heart, and ask you to press it to your wounded heart and intercede for me to your Son Jesus. Please help me to be as you are, a perfect disciple, an obedient servant, a true child of God. Amen

**This eloquent, ever so perfect prayer, was written by my priest Father Alex. My mom showed us this prayer in church. After church, my husband and I searched through the pews to find us a few copies. We are now going to pray this daily. I hope you can enjoy it as much as I do. Blessings:)

Dr. Hilger's question???

Last night DH and I went out for pizza and beer. It was such a fun casual date...love those kind! While we were enjoying our beer waiting on the pizza he asked me this question and I told him I would have to ask and let him know. Question:  If Dr. Hilgers finds something wrong, that is fixable, while he is doing my exploratory laprascopy, will he fix it or will he sow me back up and fix it another time???? Meaning, if I have a bit of endo, will he get rid of it then, or wait until he tells me, then go back and get rid of it??? If you know, let me know. If not, I plan on calling PPVI and asking them.

Happy Sunday morning:)

Happy Friday:)

DH and I are grilling out tonight and enjoying some vino! Nothing like steaks and vino on a Friday night! DH is so funny. He had to go to store to buy mushrooms and onions to go with his steaks....can't go without those topping in his mind! I'm pooped after this 2nd full week of teaching teenagers. Nothing important to say in this blog but just wanted to wish you blogger ladies a happy weekend.

Tomorrow morning I am planning a big breakfast and I can't wait. Looking more forward to this than the steaks. I'm planning grits, canadian bacon, eggs and toast. YUMMY! I love Saturday and Sunday breakfasts, along with reading the paper!! It is just sooo relaxing and enjoyable:)

After breakfast, we are headed to the outlets to do a little fall shopping for DH. He needs more work pants and shirts. I swear, he always manages to stain his shirts to the point that stain remover won't get it out! How is this possible ALL the time. Silly DH! It's supposed to be a rainy, gross day so it will be perfect for shopping. (more like window shopping b.c saving for Omaha). I say that...now I just have to live that out!

Hugs and off to prep dinner with DH! Enjoy your Friday too!

SURGERY scheduled!!!!

Well it's about darn time:) I got the call from PPVI! OCTOBER 27th is my special day! We have to coordinate times/people around work. My DH owns his own company and my mom and dad own/run their business together so they can't be gone for too long....so tentatively speaking, here is the plan:

My dad, DH and I will be flying out to Omaha on Monday, Oct 25. My appointments will start, Tuesday the 26th, then my surgery will be Wed, Oct 27th. Friday, the 29th, my dad will probably fly home. Then Sunday, Oct 31, DH  will fly home because he will have to get back to work. Then my mom will be flying out Sunday to spend the week of Nov 1-6th. That week is the week Dr. H will do my ultrasound series. Ladies who have gone to Dr. H, what all goes on during that u/s week???

I am so super excited, I can't stand it! I honestly feel so relieved that I finally have a date set and I can look forward to that. I am really going to start focusing my prayers on Dr. H and pray that the Holy Spirit give him the knowledge that he needs to diagnose/treat me. But don't worry, I'm also keeping many of you bloggers in my prayers as well:) Can't forget the ladies who have been so wonderfully supportive!

St. Gianna...you are the bomb! Keep praying for me and all these IF women....we feel you at work!

They called!!

So today during my faculty meeting at school, I looked down and saw my phone lighting up with PPVI on the screen. I swear I jumped up like someone poked me with a needle and I ran out of the room to answer...pretty spastic but I couldn't help the excitement! haha. They got this months cycle info and average cycle days. She was going to look at Dr. H's schedule according to what days my charts say is best to come out and call me back tomorrow to schedule my appointment time out in Omaha! THIS IS PROGRESS! Now I'm not going to sleep...I told DH that I am going to have my phone attached to my hip tomorrow and even if they call in the middle of class, I'm answering!

P.S. I still think it is quite amazing that I get excited that my infertility doctor called to schedule my infertility appointment out at an infertility institute in Omaha.....never thought these words would relate to me and when they finally did, I never knew I could get so excited about such a matter.

DONE!

I'm done with the blood draws! The blood shipped and made it to the lab in Omaha safely!!! Soooo glad I am done with that! I don't look like a heroine addict after all. I thought for sure that I would have an ugly bruise but they did such a great job over this period of time and I only have a tiny bruise. As for now, I'm just waiting on my appt/surgery to be scheduled and then waiting to get my results in a few weeks from my blood series.

So to celebrate, hubby took me out on a sushi dinner date (which was yummy) AND today I am going (in 10 min) to get myself a pedicure:)

I NEED A PRAYER BUDDY:)

Ladies, where do I sign up?! I see all these people revealing their prayer buddies and I love it! I'm assuming now is the time to get new ones:) Any suggestions?


So I came up with this fabulous idea for my middle school teachers...Every Monday morning we all meet with our students (7th and 8th graders) for Praise and Worship! I spent 3-4 hours yesterday looking up Praise & Worship song lyrics and making a powerpoint of them. This morning was our first gathering and it went SOOO WELL!! Y'all, it brought tears to my eyes to see these students singing these songs. Of course, many of the songs were unfamiliar to them but they soon caught on and were all singing. Our priest came and joined us too! It was such a wonderful moment and I know the Lord was smiling down with pure joy:) Thank you Lord for you help with organizing all of this!

Relaxation!

This is my first weekend home all summer and I am LOVING it!!! I'm actually still in my pjs and it's 12:30! My parents have a home on the bay and DH parents have a home down at the beach, so all summer long we have been at one place or another on the weekends. I know, it's a blessing to have those homes and to be able to enjoy the water, I have no complaints about that. However, at times I get a little tired of traveling here and there alllllll the time. Sometimes I just want a weekend at home and NOW I have it! yay!

Sweet dh lovessss to fish...it is his passion. Every morning when we are at bay/beach, he wakes me up at 5 am to get my fishing clothes on to go fishing.We go from about 5-10 am and then we come home for a big breakfast. I love to fish and I love to be with him while fishing. There is something very peaceful yet fun about this adventure. (Fish we typically catch and cook are Trout--yummy!) And another fabulous thing about it all, we don't have to buy the fish...free dinner!

 

We caught 10 trout that morning...me 5 and dh 5...perfect!

  He had a HUGE fish on the line and we were trying to fix the line before it broke off!

So today I slept in until 9! That's another thing I haven't done in forever....b.c on the weekends we are always fishing! My plan today is to do nothing much:) I do have to go do my last blood draw today! yay! I can tell I'm about to start any day now b.c my boobs are killing me. I just thought of something.....if I don't start tomorrow or Monday, does that mean I have to continue my blood draws on Monday....or every other day until I start??? The sheet he gave me only goes through P+11. My cycle days sometimes go to 31-33...so no worries...I know I'm not preggers.

I talked to PPVI about the meds and DH. I played phone tag with the nurse so when we finally talked, I got to ask her all my questions and I told her that if she couldn't get in touch with me to just leave me a detailed message. With being back at teaching now, I can't ever answer my phone so it's annoying b.c you have to leave a message and have them call you back. Supposedly it is just an infection that he has and that will go away once he completes the meds. They didn't really have any concern for me and the infection, for some reason. I assume they will check all that out once I get out there. I'm just confused b.c it seems to me that if he is on the meds, but we are still using, can't I get it and pass it back to him (after he is done with meds)??? I'm just not going to worry about it. I know they know what they are doing and I'm sure all is good. Plus, I know they will examine the heck out of me soon out in Omaha.

Waiting....

So I'm still waiting to hear from PPVI about when my visit out to Omaha is scheduled...I'm getting anxious! I would think they have to let me know sooner or later so that I can book a flight. They can't wait till the last minute...can they?? How much time did any of you have before knowing???

I left nurse at PPVI a message asking about meds/DH/me. Since my last post about DH being on meds, y'all made me more curious as to why I wasn't on the meds myself. Well then I looked up white blood cells in sperm on the internet and started freaking out! AGH! So, I'm waiting for them to call me back so I can figure out what they are going to do with DH after he finishes meds and what the heck this all has to do with me and any potential risk I might have b.c of those WBC. 

I know I have issues and perhaps an infection of some sort because I have b blood throughout my whole cycle. It starts out with bb, then has red mixed in during middle of cycle, then ends with bb again. People keep asking me why we aren't ttc but I can't necessarily open up to them and explain that I have bb and that this could be risky for me/baby during pregnancy....that would divulge tmi! ha. So instead I just tell them that we are waiting to see Dr. H to make sure my body is prepared and able to carry again.

I am almost finished with my blood draws!!!!!!!!!!!! I go tomorrow and Saturday and then I can ship them off. I tell you what, those lab people are probably sick of me! ha. No, they aren't, I know but still...I'm ready to not see them. They have really been a big blessing and they have treated me so well but I'm ready to move on and not have an arm that looks like a heroin addict!

DH on meds

So we got a call from the nurse (Sheryl) at Dr. H office, referring to DH semen analysis. The count they wanted was over 50 mil, DH had 103 mil! haha...super sperm!  The motility they wanted was at least 50%, DH had over 90%....fast little stinkers! But, what did show up was white blood cells...which could be a sign of infection...yikes! So, they called in an antibiotic (Cipro...) and he is taking this for 21 days, 2x a day...along with Probiotics. 

I consider this another step...progress. Do I kinda wonder if it is an infection, if I now have it, yes...but, I trust that Dr. H will figure all that out when I get up there. Today, I continue by blood draws with P+3...then through P+11. I've been blessed with wonderful, sweet lab workers. I have already decided to write the hospital administrator and let him know how pleased I am with the lab workers.

We are headed to the beach this weekend to spend time at DH parents beach house on Ono Island. I hope all of you ladies have a great weekend. I'll be praying for you.

Oh and I know people usually do the 5 quick takes or whatever you call them, on Fridays. I'm not there yet...soon!

Last day of summer for me:(

So I'm pretty sure today is going to be P+1...but I will have to wait to make sure with that. I'm still doing the blood draws but they change once I get to P+3. So basically, I'm halfway done with the blood draws! Moving along:)

My goal for the summer was to learn how to be a better cook. My husband got me out some cook books and I decided to try new things weekly. I succeeded and became a lot more confident about cooking within the past couple months. Now I'm hoping this will help me in the upcoming year. It used to take me f.o.r.e.v.e.r to cook dinner but hopefully now after long days of teaching, I will be a bit more speedy! DH and I split the workload usually. I do the sides and he does the meat. So, now with my new cooking skills, I should be ready to work and cook good meals! By the way, I'm a visual learner and I found a fun cooking website that I have been using this summer...it has been awesome. Try it out.... www.thehungrymouse.com

Today is my last day of freedom before teacher meetings start. Is it really already here?I'm teaching 7th and 8th grade History and 7th grade Religion. With this being my 6th year of teaching, I feel great about the teaching aspect...I don't get nervous anymore. But, I am a bit intimidated to teach Religion this year. I know about the Catholic faith but I must say that I can always know more. I love the Catholic schools and I am all about supporting them but sometimes I feel that we need to improve the Religion curriculum and bring the children closer to the Church. I feel that by the time they get to middle school, they don't have that interest in the Catholic faith. Instead, it's all about themselves. Am I making sense??? So, I want to make them crave knowledge of their faith, I want to see them stand up for what they believe, I want them to be in church and participate completely without falling asleep and wishing it was over. So pray for that please. Pray that I will be a good inspiration to this sweet children. I have ordered some praise and worship CDs off Amazon. My partner teacher and I are going to start off the week by singing and praying with the kids on Monday mornings. I'm hoping the Holy Spirit fills me with inspiration to keep that energy up throughout the week so I can really positively impact those kids!

Oh and if you didn't see the post from Sunday (my last post), check it out. I love it!!

Hugs to all my blogger ladies

I think it is so funny that a few months ago I could have sworn I would have never been a blogger. Now, I go out of town for a weekend with no computer and I'm missing catching up on my blogger ladies. haha. So I have a little something for y'all. I got this email and it brought tears to my eyes. I honestly was crying and laughing watching this. I have a strong connection with Italy, having lived there, so maybe that had something to do with it. But all in all, I just love this message. I wish I could meet all you lovely ladies just to do this!!! You have brought me so much peace and patience through all this heartache of IF. I hope this is a great start to your week. Thank you for sharing your lives with me:)            Turn your volume up....the music makes it!  One of my top favorite songs of all time.

Cut and paste...I couldn't get it to just click on it...sorry. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hN8CKwdosjE