Are you familiar with this???

Life is getting crazy with teaching these next two months, especially with 8th grade confirmation and graduation stuff coming up. This is the time of the year that I get a little impatient b.c they are so done with school (esp since they have been here since K) and they are checked out. So it takes all my might and discipline to keep them focused for the rest of the year. Anyone want to switch jobs for the next month and a half??? ha!


I've started getting to daily mass really early....like when the church lights are still off. Might sound creepy but I love it! I just sit there in peace...I wish I had an hour of it! ANyway, I pray for you. I go through my blog roll in my head and think of the recent posts I read and I pray for you. I even sometimes write things down to remember to pray for. Just know...you are in my thoughts friends:) Esp you my prayer buddy!


As far as infertile life, it's still infertile! ha. I'm on P+8 so another 8 days until I know anything. UGH! Patience is a virtue right:) Kinda boring on this end as far as the IF topic goes. Excitement aka baby, if you want to come, you are oh so welcome!


After getting to know so many of you (via blogs) I have realized that I totally have forgotten to share something with you; something I find to be very important. Listen up and do the research! For the past 3 years we have been taking something called Juice Plus. It is not a vitamin supplement. It is 17 fruits and raw vegetables in capsule form. Anyway, a while back when we were starting to ttc, a friend approached me about the importance of Juice Plus. I was hesitant but I did my research (plenty available) and realized how beneficial it was. I am not trying to throw you a sales pitch. Honestly. I'm just telling you because I really care for your health and well being. I stressed and stressed when we first started ttc about my health....about eating as many veggies and fruits and fiber and protein, the list goes on, all in one day. I couldn't fit in all that I was supposed to. That is when I made the switch to Juice Plus. (Sorry this sounds so sales pitchy.) My husband, and family (mom/dad/sis & fam), have been on it for 3 years and we are very pleased with it. It can benefit you and your child in so many ways. My nieces and nephews take the gummies. Anyways, check out my website and especially watch the video. If you are interested, let me know. I know a few of you already take it! Great:) Even if you just have questions, let me know. To be honest, it took me about a month of thinking and researching before I agreed to it. If you choose not to, no hard feelings:)

Hugs ladies:) Off to watch Survivor with the dh!

Weird month and a blogger who needs your support!!

So weird. Yesterday was CD 25 and I had 10CL AD....on CD 25! I have never seen such late signs before...ever. I started to see signs on CD 16 with LAP (left side abdominal pain) so I knew that those were probably signs of ovulation. I felt the LAP until CD 19. I saw one night of 10KL for 3 hours and that was it of the K. Then after that I saw 10K every other day until CD 25. WEIRD! Def not consistent. LORD I REALLY WANT A BABY...SO IF YOU CAN DO THIS SOON THAT WOULD BE GREAT!

Fertile CM did nothing for me...neither did the mucinex. I still of course have hope for this cycle b.c I saw some positive signs and we were able to ttc a good amount of times after the "talk". Thanks for that support by the way. You were all so awesome in your support. It really comforted me to know that I was not alone about the "talk" issue. Anyway, if I don't get a BFP then I assume PPVI will put me on amoxicilin for CM production.

Daily mass for lent has really been healing. I am definitely going to continue this after lent. DH and I got into an argument last night about it though...isn't that horrible! Hate arguments. (He is doing daily mass with me for Lent.) He mentioned how he doesn't really get much out of daily mass. I tried to not get on the defensive and be understanding but it really hurt my heart to hear that. He is Catholic, he does go to mass with me on Sundays, we do pray daily. It's not that he isn't involved...he just doesn't get what I get out of the mass. He understands the  meaning but he is not a very deep person. This isn't a put down it's just that he really isn't deep nor does he really think about all the theology aspect. So, when it comes to his faith, I feel it is not as mature as I would want it to be. Then I think I am judging...ugh. So we talked about it and expressed ourselves last night. He basically said that we are two different people and we are not the same nor will be the same...I totally agree and understand. But I crave faith, God, trust, prayers, etc. He doesn't crave it like me. I know that doesn't mean he is a bad person but it bothers me at times. He really is the sweetest, most precious man. He does pray with me often and I just love this so much. He also has faith and trusts in God's plan for us and this whole IF battle. He just isn't deep in that way so his faith isn't deep either. Am I making sense? I just worry about him and his relationship with God and whether it will be good enough for God. I know i know that I am not perfect but I do strive to do well. Of course, I could always do more. Shoot, I worry about my relationship and trust in God too. Anyway, maybe I just needed to type this out to get it off my chest again. 

What made me feel all better is that this morning I left to go to church and he came and met me:) He was so cute. He came in and sat in my pew and just smiled at me. It was so precious. He is trying. Thank you God:)


Last but not least, please please help me console and support this  blogger. She needs us! Also I encouraged her to look into NaPro so if any of you want to add more encouragement that would be great!

Thank you & frustration with M!

First of all, thank you so much for your prayers the other day. I really needed them. And you know what...GOD ANSWERED! I'll finally explain. Lately I have been distracted with ttc so much to the point where I have made ttc seem more like a chore to my dh than an act of intimacy. My husband, thank goodness, shared his feelings with me and it was a slap in the face. I totally realized that I was not making this special at all. He felt used. I felt horrible. It's true though. All the other times in the month are great and intimate, then when ttc comes, I turn into a freek (it seems) and I loose focus on meaning and become completely obsessed with ttc. My poor dh. He is so sensitive and so sweet. I just tear up at the fact that I made him feel used. Ugh...makes me sick. BUT i totally understand. I can't imagine. Then of course that puts tonssss of pressure on him and we aren't even able to ttc. Does this all make sense? It is a big issue and I can imagine that we are not alone in this too. 

NFP is a beautiful thing but it can also lead you down a path like above and you really have to redirect your focus and remind yourself of the gift of marriage and intimacy. So we had a huge talk about it. I thought it would ruin ttc this month but GOOD NEWS:) It didn't. We talked that night and were able to put it behind us and we were successful:) So it ended up being a wonderful blessing from God. Thank you Lord for the gift of communication...it really humbled me. But it was your prayers and our Lord that helped us through this. So thanks:)

So this cycle I was to take Fertile CM or Mucinex to help with the m. PPVI said I could take both if I wanted. So I thought, what the heck! I haven't been seeing much during ovulation and when I did, it wasn't as clear as it once was so I was hoping this would all help. Well it didn't. 

I had one day this cycle where I saw 10k (maybe 10kl but I couldn't remember. ugh) and it was on CD 17 from 5 pm to 8 pm. That was it! WTH! Where did my m go???? What is going on??? But I did also try something else new this month and that was an OPK (ovulation predictor kit). You know what's funny...I think we have been ttc at the wrong times. Possibly. I don't know. I have always been ttc when I started seeing signs of 6, 8, or 10.

Anyway, on CD 18 the lines on the stick finally showed up (this was the day after my 10k) and that was when I had my LH surge so of course we ttc. Today is CD 20 and the two lines are still showing up. So this all means that I am in the process now and not when I saw 6, 8, or 10. Now I know that when you see signs of m you are to start ttc so that the sperm can swim. But when ever I stopped seeing signs, we stopped ttc for a few days (I guest to rest! haha). 

The whole point to this is that I think I have been ttc at the wrong times. Maybe this month it was the right time!!! but then again, I had very limited m so ugh! So annoying. I had m all the time before my surgery. It wasn't ever clear, it was always cloudy. Then the cycle after surgery I saw 10k but it is very limited. Nothing like I had seen before surgery. This is so annoying. Now I'm worried....how the heck can sperm swim if there isn't any m to swim in!!!

Annoyed. Oh well. For some reason though I feel good about this cycle. I feel positive. So that is much better than feeling negative. PLEASE WORK SPERM AND EGG!!! PLEASE:):):) haha. 

Enough about that. We have a wedding this weekend so we will be participating in wedding festivities all weekend. Should be fun! I bought a manicure/pedicure Groupon so I get to go get it today! It is 50% off! I'm excited:) My toes and nails should look all pretty:)

Prayer request and BACHELOR FINALE!

Prayer request: I'll explain later (maybe) but for now, will you please please say a prayer for me and my dh. All is ok (we are happy and marriage is great) but we need your prayers regarding ttc and some issues we are having. Soo please just pray that these issues clear up and subside. Thank you for doing this for me:)
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Ok ladies, well at least those who care and watch the bachelor!!! Tonight is our night!! I have set aside all plans and am counting down the hours. Am I pathetic or what! ha.

I thought it was Chantel all along, although I wanted it to be Emily. Now I feel as if it is Emily, but then wonder if they are tricking me into thinking that. In the past years there have been some major surprises. But did you see him in the preview/commercials bawling his eyes out hugging Emily....that makes me wonder too. What if one of them ditches him??? UGH to much for me to handle! I still think it's going to be Emily.

Then today I read, yes I admit it, that I read Reality Steve (Don't google and go to site or you will find out info you won't want to know about show) and I totally shouldn't have. I'm not going to tell you what I read because I don't want to spill any beans. All I can say is that I can't wait for tonight! Anyone gonna be watching it with me. Also those watching, don't forget tonight is also "After the Finale Rose" show too. It gives us a heads up on how the couple is doing now after the show is done recording and that they can be public.

Oh and one more thing...supposedly the past couples come on the show tonight?? I don't know...that's what I hear. I do know his family will be on though.

Ok, enough about this. Sorry to waste your time if you aren't a Bachelor lover. But for those who are, I CAN'T WAIT to watch with you and chat about it tomorrow. If you want to chat, chat on this post and just comment on this one.

HUGS and Happy Monday:)

Great prayer and thoughts

I read this today from my online email scripture reading and thought it would be great to share with you:)

VERSE:
  Hear my prayer, O LORD; listen to my cry for mercy. In the day
of my trouble I will call to you, for you will answer me.
   -- Psalm 86:6-7
   
THOUGHT:
  Sometimes there are no immediate answers. We have prayed and
cried and tried and gone sleepless and mourned and shouted. Still
there are no answers. The days roll by in an agonizing parade of
pain. Still there are no answers we can identify. What do we do? We
go to the Psalms. We let them raise up our heart's cry. We are
honest with the God of the entire universe and yet we can still
anticipate mercy from him. We are convinced that in our troubles,
he will not only hear us, but he will also care about what is
happening in our lives.

PRAYER:
  Almighty God, the only true Healer of disease and Mender of
broken hearts, please hear the cry today of those I love who are in
such desperate situations. May your will be done in every one of
their lives with tenderness, grace, and a sense of your presence.
And Lord, please be near me, and help me see your answer to my
prayers. Forever yours in the name of Jesus. Amen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Also, did anyone read the reflection in the Magnificat today. I LOVED IT! Here is a part of it written by Elisabeth Leseur....

"God, you have worked with me recently through inner deprivation, suffering, and painful hardships. You must be preparing me for an end known only to you. Whatever it is, I accept it....Make me holy if you plan to give your heaven to me; make me holy if you intend to leave me here to labor and bear the cross. All I ask is that you use me for your glory; let me love you more and more, uniting myself completely to you forever."

Have a good weekend friends:)

Trip surprise!

I got to tell DH about our trip!! Today is his bday and I woke him up this morning and gave him this poster. He was so surprised...it was so awesome to see him excited about it!!!! I can't wait:) April spring break can't come soon enough!!! Tonight we are going to dinner with his family. They are going to surprise him with the rest of the news....his brothers and their others (wife and girlfriend) will be joining us on our trip! He is really gonna flip out when he finds this out!!!

We went to mass this morning and I just praised the Lord for the gift of my sweet husband in my life:) As I wrote in dh's card, although I am going through the most difficult trial in my life dealing with IF, I am still filled with joy for the gift of him in my life. He still has a way to make me happy through my trials:)

Magnificat Lenten Book

I know many of you have discussed reading things during Lent. It reminded me of my Lenten Companion that Magnificat prints out each year. You can order online or maybe find at at Catholic store near you. I called the store today and they have mine on hold for me for when I get off work. It is a great daily reflection book:)

For lent I am doing daily mass Mon-Friday. I'm craving this! I am also going to focus strongly on praying for my prayer buddy. I am looking up a special saint that relate to her prayer requests. Also might look into some novenas as well. This will be so great and take my mind off my own needs to focus on the needs of others:)

As far as giving things up, I am going to be very strict with my Anti Inflammatory Diet. I have had a few too many weak moments so I am going to be very focused. Plus, it's just plain healthy for me! I'm also going to give up saying bad things, negative things. I'm really going to try. I'm not a negative person, but we all say things we shouldn't and I'm going to really work on this so hopefully it will become a habit! (Hope this doesn't make me sound like a witch at other times...I swear I'm not, ha! I just want to rid myself of negative thoughts and actions.

Hugs friends:) Sometimes I just wish I could meet y'all and hug your necks!

Beach instead:)

So dh and I would typically be downtown celebrating Mardi Gras but we decided to escape to the beach and get away from all the hoopla.

It's absolutely beautiful down here. I must say, its a bit chilly but it looks so perfect outside! We drove down to a beach bar and had lunch and then walked on the beach. I wish we were in our bathing suits in the warm sun but that will come soon enough. Can u see the pic? I bet you never knew Alabama had such beautiful, white beaches!! They are like no other. It's like walking on flour....its so soft and white! Love:)

I just downloaded a new blogger app so I hope this post w pic shows up. I tried uploading a few pics...don't know if it will work. We will have to see.

We are off work today and tomorrow for Mardi Gras. We are headed back tomorrow for Fat Tuesday. My dh rides in parade tomorrow night and then we have his organization party after. Wed at work should be great fun!

I am excited for Lent. I have my daily masses all situated and I'm getting my lent prayer book wed too. Today I found out who my prayer buddy is....yay! I recently met her and felt a connection to her right away so I thought it was fitting that I get to pray for her!

Happy Mardi Gras! I'll post some pics from Fat Tuesday for you soon!

Better

So I have been on Biaxin now for 1 day and 1/2. I am still going through AF. It was b yesterday and now it is red. That Biaxin might really be my fix. We will see! I do know I have never seen red, seen b, then seen red again all within the same cycle.

I ordered Fertile CM. Your going to make fun of me but I totally paid an extra $20 to have it overnighted! haha. pathetic I know but I want to start taking it when I'm supposed to and sense my AF if almost done, I know it will be time soon. I didn't want to mess around. Plus, it made me feel better! IF makes you crazy right!

When I was out of work during Oct-Dec for surgeries, I was able to go to daily mass and it was soooo very healing. It honestly completed me every day. Since then, I have desired to to but have been able to do the daily thing because of being back at work. Well, since I'm a teacher at a Catholic school, I decided to take it a bit further and investigate. 

I asked our priest, who I adore! He went to high school with me! Anyway, there is mass at 7:25 every morning. The teachers are to be at school at 7:30 so I could never go. I asked Fr if it was possible to switch mass to 7 but he can't b/c it's set up for high school kids to be able to go to mass and then class. That's fair...since the high school is across the street. Then he said, "I give you permission to go to mass daily!" Meaning, I didn't have to be at school at 7:30. Shoot, if the priest gives me permission to be "late" to school, I can! the bell doesn't ring till 7:50 anyways so I wouldn't be missing anything. So I emailed my principal...she totally approved and thought it was a great idea. YAY!

I have been going to daily mass since Monday. I am finally feeling more complete. I absolutely love this quiet time with God. Thank you Lord. I have also opened the option up to my 7th and 8th graders. So far a couple have joined me. I'm really going to talk to them about Lent and giving instead of giving up. That is how I was raised and it was wonderful. Of course, they can give up things, but it is also good to give. So I am giving my time daily (starting early before Lent) but I know our sweet Lord will enjoy that time with me. 

Lord, please continue to strengthen me through your body and blood!

TEBB & issues..updated

Well I had my cycle review yesterday. It was CD 3. Do you remember a post a couple weeks back that was neon red...well the tebb has set in again. UGH. Makes me so mad. Has this happened to any of you?? Did it ever go away all the way and not come back??? We are on Biaxin again for 10 days. Hope that helps.

It really is annoying b.c I thought everything would be all cleared up after surgery....it was...I know alot was fixed and I am so grateful for that BUT I want it ALL to be fixed. I know, I sound like a baby! But my estrogen is 11.4...they want it at 12. Which means it is really close to being low. My progesterone is 21.6...that is great...thanks to the HCG.

I am having very bad cramps on CD 1. I thought that pain was supposed to go away too???

I also have limited mucus. WTH

After getting off phone for my cycle review and meeting with my practioner yesterday, I wasn't satisfied. So I wrote a letter out asking all these questions referring to this post. Then I made a copy of my chart and faxed all that this morning. I'm hoping to get more clarification. I want to be more persistent...not just wait around. Patience,I know but if I'm still having certain issues, I want them fixed!

I am waiting to hear back from PPVI today. Hoping for more guidance this cycle. It is already CD 4. I know I do get to take Mucinex this cycle to help with mucus but it doesn't enhance it...it just makes it more fertile for the sperm to swim.

Anywho, I'll let you know what they say. Any advice y'all have...pass it on!!

Hugs!

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UPDATE:

 Estrogen: levels before were always fine. This time they were .6 below average which is not bad. So they are going to watch that strictly to make sure it doesn't drop.

Mucus: Going to try Mucinex and she also mentioned Fertile CM. She said I could take both at the same time but it's best to take one or the other b.c then I know which one helped the most. ANY SUGGESTIONS ON WHICH ONE FROM YOUR POINT OF VIEW???

BB: She said this is still a topic of research but they do know that the Biaxin helped me before so they are going to try this again. If I have to do it at the beginning of each cycle to clear away bb, then that is what we will do for a while. At least it helped last time so I know it will help this time.

Prolactin levels: The lab is checking those and they will get back to me.

Cramps/Lower back pain: Since it is only 3 months post surgery, we are going to watch that and hope that it gets better. But, some people just have sensitive nerves and the pain might always be present. At least it is fixed mostly with endo removed.

I feel better now. I just needed to feel like I was doing something to better each month. Being on the Biaxin now, knowing it will help with inflammation and BB makes me feel better. Also taking the Mucinex or Fertile CM will be helpful too.