Pretty much given the green light

So I have been wanting to TTC ever since I started back my cycle but PPVI shot me down. They basically told me no! Dr. Hilgers is pretty cautious with giving me the green light since I only have one tube and history of ectopic pregnancy and low progesterone. PPVI has been tracking my progesterone through P+7 draws. Each month has gotten better.

They called yesterday with info from cycle review. They have started me on the concoction of meds/shots I was on when I last conceived. Soooo I'm on the path of TTC.

Its a good feeling. I'm ready. Does infertility still haunt me...yes. But I have my little Spunky and know that God has a plan for me that is better than my own. Sooo I'm not letting the devil work his magic on me this time. I'm focusing on God, His will, and He will direct my life. NOT YOU DEVIL!!

I'm also going to focus on not being crazy at TTC. I remember in the past before PPVI saved me with my surgeries, I was crazy about TTC. I made hubby feel like an object and I did not handle it gracefully or romantically. It was more like "Hey, I'm ovulating..." How romantic is that!! Well that is out the window. I remember the couple months after surgery how enjoyable it was to TTC and not be crazy about timing, etc. I still was focused on TTC but I was much more relaxed than I was before surgeries. So I'm going to continue with that relaxed mindset and "let go and let God!" If you have a few seconds to throw a prayer out there for me about this, that would be great:)

Yes this is all true....Prayer Warriors needed!!!

One of my dear friends since we were young is getting married tomorrow. First, a little description if her... Holy, angelic, innocent, naive, gullible, sensitive, very caring and loving. She also struggles with Bi-polar and something doesn't seem normal about her meds...I think this is part of the reason why I think she is making this decision. Why? She isn't herself. She is so highly medicated that she seems like she is in a daze. Its so sad!!! She has never ever had a man love her before and this guy is filling that void for her. Ok so on to him...BRACE yourself!!

He is a felon. He had a meth lab in his house. He spent a year in jail for this. He got kicked out of military for cocaine use. He beat his ex wife so severely that he chipped 6 of her teeth. He has a child who is 5 who he doesn't claim and doesn't pay child support for.  He has a poor paying job  because he doesn't have a college education and because he is a felon so he will neve be able to get a solid good job. He has 0 friends. And when I mean 0, I mean, not even one to have as his groomsman!!! What else?! There are many other little things.

We, her family and friends, have had mannnny interventions. He dad even worked with he district attorney to open his old cases. My friend saw the pics of the beaten ex wife!!! Her dad even contacted the ex and asked her to talk to my friend... She did and begged her not to marry this guy and yet my friend is ignoring this. Our priest gave her every reason not to marry this guy!!! The cops that arrested him even met with her and her dad and tried to talk her out of this. Yall her parents are the most Catholic, loving, devoted couple ever!! They have gone above and beyond to try and get to her senses but nothing is working!!

She is walking down the isle and marrying this guy tomorrow!!! Im sick to my stomach. My friends and I are all sick!!! The only people in his life coming to the wedding tomorrow are his parents. Her parents are asking their own friends to sit on his side of church b.c there will be no one on that side if they dont.

Last night we threw her a "Bachlorette" dinner. We went out for sushi and then had a little pj/lingerie party for her after. It was soooo awkward!!! She is honestly in LALA LAND!!!! It's so sad:(((

Last point... she is on lithium for her disorder...which means she cannot get pregnant. She also can't function without that med. She is ignoring this and thinking she can still have a child. THIS IS my biggest concern. What if she is on this med and conceives!!!! I'm so scared!!! Next, she can never adopt b.c her husband to be is a felon!! It's a never ending road of RED FLAGS!!!! And yet she things he has "changed." If he had changed that would be awesome....but he hasn't. That's a whole addition to the story.

So I'm asking for you to storm the heavens with prayers. I'm actually praying for a miracle...for her to come to this realization and either not walk down the isle or not even show up!!! I understand that God might have a bigger picture in all this...one that is hard to understand now but might make sense later. All I ask is that you pray for this precious friend

Hugs