Quotes/The Bachelor/Prayer Request for Hebrews

So I have a quote board in my classroom that I like to write random quotes on for the kids to read. They love coming in and seeing what the new quote will be. They usually are inspirational, as teenagers need as much inspiration as possible.

One of my fav: "If you see someone without a smile, give them yours!"

Today's quote: "Don't tell me the sky is the limit, where there are footprints on the moon!"

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Tonight is the Bachelor!!! MY GUILTY PLEASURE!!! hahaha. Horrible I know.

But, there are only 3 girls left. It is getting really good. Tonight he is sending home one and will have only 2 left. Is anyone out in the blog world excited with me????

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Last night Dh and I had a Mardi Gras party. Here the festivities run for 3 weeks. We were downtown at a party outside in the gorgeous weather. They had yummy food and a fabulous band. Then came the parade...which I call the "boom, boom!" The bands are my absolute favorite part in the parades. Dh and I break it down when they go by...love them! Then of course there are the moonpies....each year they come out with a new flavor. This year it is coconut...yuck! My fav is peanut butter and the mint too! (Moonpies: graham cracker crust cookie sandwiches dipped in flavor (usually chocolate) with a filling in the middle...kind of like oreos but 10x better!)

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Please please pray for Hebrews all day tomorrow. It is her surgery day and she needs our prayers!!!

Welcome spring:):)

Yesterday was P+16. Last cycle lasted till P+15 bc of the HCG shots so I knew to expect a long cycle. Except after P+15 this time, I actually started to get excited. The anxiety set in. I was totally fine throughout the 2ww...that was all God's grace. I didn't struggle through that...BUT then the devil started creeping in...that POS!


Yesterday I had a little pep in my step. I saw nor felt no signs of AF but sure enough 5 a.m. I go to the bathroom and booom...there it is. UGH. HATE. 


IT IS SO CRAZY HOW CRAZY MY MIND GETS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean I was fine until yesterday and then I had little glimmers of hope last night when getting ready for bed. I was thinking "two more days, no af = hope!!" 


So today was just blah. Well, my mood was at least. DH hung in there with me though. I woke up and had pretty bad cramps even after tylenol. I got in a hot bath and sat in there for about 30. That was at 5:30 a.m. DH was up too. I guess I woke him up but our alarm clocks in our heads just buzz and we can't sleep late. So after we ended up laying in bed watching a movie till 7:30 a.m. That's when the cramps worsened....and the back cramps too. Mis. Finally around 9:30 they faded.


Today it was 75!!! It was absolutely beautiful. The sky was sooo blue. I spent the morning shopping. In between shops mom and dad called and I lost it. When I hear their voices and I"m sad, the tears just flow. I was pretty upset/emotional for about 30 min. I guess it felt good to get it out. And my sweet parents are so comforting and encouraging. After my eyes dried up and the redness went away, I continued my day. Since AF came, I went and bought two new shirts and a new pair of sandals for spring! 


I came home and while DH washed/waxed his boat I laid out in the back yard and caught some vita D. My skin is so pale and I just want a bit a color. I bought 70 Neutrogena spray at CVS (I'm a freek about getting too much sun!) and dosed my body down. Then I spent a good amount of the afternoon on the blanket out back. It really was a great way to spend a CD 1 day.


DH and I then went to the store to get groceries for the week. (He knows that when I'm upset or sad, it makes me happy for him to be with me or else he would have loved to have stayed home to enjoy the weather outside playing on his boat). He then had a brilliant idea to go get 10lbs of crawfish (already spiced and boiled). We sat out on the back porch as it started to cool and enjoyed peeling the shells and eating our yummy crawfish and drinking a cold beer. (To you northerners/midwesterners...We say "crawfish" not "crayfish".) ha. 


Then tonight I tried to make spaghetti sauce (easy, right???) and it ended up tasting like CRAPOLA! Thank goodness we were full from the crawfish. I'm debating whether I should add spices or throw it out....that is how "not good" it is. I mean really. Who can't make spaghetti sauce from a darn recipe!!! My sister emailed it to me...maybe she left a few things out accidently...I'll pretend that that is the reason!! 


Contacts are drying out. DH and I are about to crawl into bed and watch tv. Tomorrow we have a busy day with mass then a Mardi Gras day party then parade. So off to brush my teeth I go....


Happy Mardi Gras friends:)

Positive Polly!

I'm a very optimistic person...really, I am. I rarely am negative or think negative thoughts. Even when I was single, I never had those negative thoughts of "I'm never going to find a husband..." I guess you can say I have always trusted. I feel I have. I have always known I was in God's hands. The most difficult time in my life, besides IF, was when my ex and I broke up. We had one of those relationships where we planned everything out...and then God laughed. That took a good year for me to get over. BUT, I knew I would be okay. I wasn't ever worried about not finding someone else or whatever those other thoughts are.

But this IF thing, is really kicking my butt. HARD. (By the way, I still think butt is a bad word...haha...I rarely say it. But right now I needed something strong and didn't want to say ass...ooops!) It's causing me to not be my really positive self after all. I mean, of course I am still positive and go about my days pretty happy. But that thought still lingers in the back of my head about "no baby yet" and it just stays there. It makes me have negative thoughts. U to the G to the H....UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I want to say the words "I will have a baby." But is it weird that I can't. I can say "I hope" or "might" but I can't say "I will." And, it makes me sick that I can't say that because IT'S NOT ME! Where is it coming from....that damn devil! Hate him. 

My goal from this post on is to remind myself that "I WILL HAVE A BABY." There I said it. But not out loud...yet. That is my goal.

I know so many of you feel this way too. Now, while I am in the middle of my novena to St. Gerard, I often throw your blog names out there with my own prayers. I just want this so bad for all of us. Sorry this is a negative nancy post. (I always tell my students to not be negative nancys..ha!) I hope my next is a more positive polly. Haha. I'm such a Dork...with a capital D!

St. Gerard, pray for us all day today:)

Random

So the ball was a lot of fun! DH is pretty reserved when it comes to dancing but once he gets a little drink in his system, he is a dance maniac! haha. And that he was on Friday. It's so fun though b.c I love to dance and I totally crush on him when I see him dancing. It is hilarious! He does this little move where he puts one foot in front of the other and swings his hips around...it honestly makes me giggle every time. I love it it b.c it totally makes me feel giddy and I just want to jump in his arms and tell him how stinkin cute he is! haha. So yes, we had fun!

I'm in the middle of my 2ww. This cycle I had my first double peak so my cycle is extra long. It's more like a 3ww. Not feeling anything special. I'm not acting all crazy YET so that's good. I'm sure that time will come after this weekend. I'm hoping af comes before the devil gets in my head again. Or I'd take a BFP anyday! ha.

I'm in the middle of my novena to St. Gerard. It's my first one. I always asked him to pray for me and read his prayer card but never a novena. Hope he is listening:)

Yesterday was my sweet dad's 70th bday. I am superduper close to my dad. He is just such a precious, loving man. My mom calls him her "Jospeh". So one day while I was visiting a nearby Catholic church, I saw a statue that I though would be perfect for my dad. I talked to the church secretary and she gave me info on how I could order it. It is called "Father" and it is of Jospeh holding sweet Jesus as a child. My dad just loved it!!! My absolute favorite is the "Standing Holy Family"...it is my absolute most favorite statues. Isn't it just beautiful! My mom and dad gave it to us and it is in our house. I look at it often and smile:)

DH and I have started walking together:) It makes me so happy. In the past he would always make up excuses but now that he has gained a few lbs and that he is getting older and not working out, it made him realize he better get on it! I kept telling him I needed him to have a healthy heart for me, for him and for our future family. So we have started walking on M, W, F and Sun. We take our lab along and it is just great. I know it is just a walk but it really is so great b.c it is uninterupted, quality time to be together. No phones, computers, tv...nada! Just us! Well yesterday he said "let's run!" So we ended up jogging the whole way. It wasn't bad at all. First run since surgery and it was great. The weather here has been gorgeous! (sorry northern and midwestern bloggers) It has been in the 60s and 70s and blue skies. Love the south!! Well we woke up this morning a littttlleeee sore! ha. We will just have to walk it out today.

Hugs and off to grade:)

Life

I'm back:) I haven't posted in over a week. I get so caught up in reading your posts that I forget to post my own! haha. My last post was pretty depressing. This past week was a much better week, although we are still mourning the losses. It really is comforting though to know that I know have a crew up in heaven playing with my little one:)

Cycle: This cycle I had my first double peak ever! I was actually happy to see it b.c I was a bit upset when I only had 10ck for 2 days...but then three days later it came back for another 2 days. When they teach you that double peaks occur usually during highly stressful times, it all makes sense. That week of ovulation was the week of 3 losses of life in one week. So I understood why. Today is p+5 so I start my second round of HCG. Fun.God please don't make me the psycho woman I was during this 2ww. So far, I'm chill. Let me remain that way.

This weekend DH and I had plans to go to New Orleans (only 2 hours away) on Saturday to surprise my dad for his 70th bday:) Love my sweet daddy! Mom had surprised him and taken him there for the weekend. We were supposed to surprise him at dinner on Sat. But, on Friday at 2 (while I was still at work) DH and I decided to spontaneously go on Friday after work. YAY! Fun!! So I rushed home after work and we headed to New Orleans! 

We made reservations at Irene's (Old Italian restaurant in French Quarter). I totally ditched the diet!!! WOOHOO! haha. We were told they didn't take reservations (but I think they do now) and so we headed there around 8. They said it wouldn't be till 9:30 till we got seated. Yikes but ok b.c we headed down to the oldest bar in the FQ. It had wood beams, a fire place, and candles everywhere. It was awesome! We had a few drinks and just chatted...it was so fun. Loved it. We headed back to restaurant. It was still crowded and we actually still weren't seated at 10!!!! I was about to eat my arm people! So I told DH that I had to do something. We decided I would go flirt with the waiter...hahahhaa. So I did! haha. Not really, but kinda. DH liked my magic! I went and stood on that side of the waiting area where there was a waiter and told him I had had a few drinks and needed some bread. (I mean it was 10 and I hadn't eaten since 11:45a.m. AND we had some drinks in our system. FOOD in my BELLY NOW!) haha. He then asks me how long we had been waiting and felt bad and snuck us in!!! Sorry other people waiting but this woman was a bit tipsy at this point b.c no food in system. I needed it soon!

We ended up having a delicious meal. It was the best atmosphere too! Sooo Italian! Having lived in Italy, any place like this restaurant makes me feel like I am back there. Boy do I miss it! On our way back to our hotel, we walked down Bourbon St. Interesting people at all times of the day. Of course you can't walk down Bourbon without some sort of experience and yes, I had mine. DH and I were just walking along and this woman pulled up her shirt and her BOOBS were IN MY FACE! My reaction: I SCREAMED! High pitch scared scream. hahaha. I really did. What a sicko! She was doing it to show the people up on balcony to get beads. I happened to walk by and BAMM! DH was laughing hysterically b.c of my shocked condition. I ended up laughing too. Gotta have humor!! Oh wait, forgot. Then as we walked away, I told DH that mine were better looking!! haha. He confirmed and burst out into laughter. That was the vino talking:)

So that was our V day dinner:) We then surprised my dad at bfast the next morning. I couldn't wait till dinner knowing that we were going to be walking around the FQ and so were they. It was driving me crazy. So I snuck into their restaurant where they were eating bfast and hugged his neck. He was sooooo happy! YAY! Surprise worked!

DH and I spent the day walking around the FQ listening to all the jazz music played by street performers. We also went through a few antique shops...Love that! That night we all had dinner at Daisy Bistro. Ladies, another fabulous must have meal if you go to Nola (New Orleans). It was perfect for the occasion. Dad was so very happy!!

This weekend starts the Mardi Gras festivities. We have a ball Friday night:) LOVE my dress. I'll post a pic of us in it...with our heads chopped off b.c I'm a freek and scared to post pics. haha. Hope you are all having a good week. HUGS around your lovely necks!

Week from HELL

So my last post was about the loss of a family friend. He was a father to two children and a husband to a precious woman. That was the first death of the week. Isn't that horrible to say???

I got the email at 10:30 on Monday morning. It was my plan period. I couldn't believe what I read so I had to immediately call my roommate. My roommate was crying. It was true. Our other roommate's little girl had died!!!! I lost it. I couldn't believe this was happening to one of the most holy people I knew. The girl who was a true example of Christ all 4 years of my college life. Ugh, the pain still hurts as I type this.  She was five years old. My roommate had taken her to the dr bc she was sick. He diagnosed her with the flu. When she got home, she gave S her medicine and she went down for a nap. A bit later she when it to check on her and she was gone. gone. how? why? 

Of course we never know why. God must have really needed this little one as one of his angels. Because she lives so far away, I was unable to go out to the funeral with such a sort notice. Flights were ridiculous. Sad:( What a horrible empty feeling to not be able to be there for a friend. One of our other college friends was able to attend and be there for the rest of us who were unable to be there for her. Here is her followup email. I changed to Mom and Dad and S(baby) for privacy sake. 

"I just got home a bit ago from the Mass celebrating S's life and then her burial.The most amazing thing of the day is to see the Mom and Dad's strength.  It was simply divine intervention, as far as I'm concerned. I gave Mom the biggest hug of my life, and while I was sobbing, she was at peace.  She said to me, D, S saw the love, felt it calling, and ran to it.  I couldn't believe how much peace radiated from her being.  I know God has put his hand on her heart and allowed the healing process to begin. The Mom is very fragile and in much pain, I know, but I think peace has enveloped her like a cloud. The mass was so peaceful and perfect.  The priest giving the message knows the family and it was so moving.  So beautiful.  So sincere and filled with love. The church was packed.. the whole community was there to support the Mom and Dad.  It was such an outpouring of love... it made my heart glad to see.

The music chosen for the mass was soothing and peaceful.  During the first song (I will bless Thee), the mom's arms were lifted high to heaven and I know she was receiving strength from God. Instead of adults giving reflections, the Priest asked all of S's cousin to come up to the front.  He then asked them to say their favorite thing about S... they were all very young and said things like "she played with me", "she was family", "she was a good person"... it was precious.  And so very appropriate - the priest said S didn't like the adult mass so he wanted to have the kids there instead of the boring adults.At the end we sand "I've got the Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy down in my heart...".  People were clapping. 


The cemetery was a few miles away form the church.  We went and gathered around the Morgans.  They released doves and the doves flew around like a symbol sent from God - of peace and well being and his Holy Spirit resting in us.  We had a chance to help spread some dirt on S's coffin (which held just her body... not her soul, which is already with Jesus), and although the whole thing was a big fog, it was a symbol of the community gathering and helping to give S a loving send off. I am so blessed to have been able to attend.  And I know your prayers and love made a world of difference - I know God allowed the Mom to feel the love being sent out for her from all over. In the midst of this sadness, God showed up and gave us a ray of hope - hope that one day S is waiting for us and she'll be so joyous to embraces us all."

Is that not unbelievable. I am in awe of the their strength...esp my roommate. Wow.  Please please keep my roommate and her family in your prayers. If you read Lelia's facebook recently, the little girl she posted about is my roommates little girl. You can see her pic...what a true angel!

As if that isn't enough. Ten minutes after I received this info from my roommate, I get a buzz over the intercom from the secretary. She tells me my mom called and it's urgent. I honestly thought she was calling to tell me about my roommate but no. It was another death.

My brother's best friend was training for a marathon and was running early Monday morning when he was struck and killed by an off duty police officer on his way home from work. I lost it. Again. At this point I couldn't take it anymore. I had to leave school. My partner teacher heard my tears/crys and came to support me. Ten minutes later DH was there to pic me up. I just had to leave. 

My brother's best friend, SD, was that person who is everyone's favorite person. He put 110% into his family and his friends. He never complained. He was hilarious. He was honest. He was everything any man would want to be. My brother looked up to him in every way. To me, he was like a big brother. And now, he was gone. UGH. His poor family. He left behind a wife and two precious kids, 8 and 4. We drove up to Birmingham for the service. It was honestly one of the most emotional days of my life. 

The service was the most beautiful, yet sorrowful service I had ever been too. Because they are Hindu, they had certain traditional parts of their ceremony that were so beautiful. There were about 15 people that got up separately to talk about SD. Even his wife spoke...WOW! There wasn't a dry eye in the chapel for an hour. But to see these people profess their love and admiration for SD was just so inspiring. I wish all funerals were like this...a celebration of life, of people getting up and sharing stories of how that person touched their life. It really made the service so much more meaningful than any I had been to before. 

How do these families go on? How? How do they even get out of bed? I was thinking about my pain and then couldn't imagine to be them. How? Oh my heart still aches so bad for them. I have so much more to say, so many more thoughts but I will let this be. 

For now, please pray for these precious families. They need our prayers so very badly. One thing this all did help me do was put my life into more perspective. This whole IF thing. Yes it hurts, yes it's painful BUT I have my DH with me tonight when I go to bed. I will now look at things a bit differently after this past week. 

As for R, S and SD, you will be missed greatly. I will continue to pray for the repose of your souls. I hope and pray that you are enjoying life in the arms of our precious Lord. I also hope you have met my little one who is up there with you. Take good care of my angel:)