First of all, thank you so much for your prayers the other day. I really needed them. And you know what...GOD ANSWERED! I'll finally explain. Lately I have been distracted with ttc so much to the point where I have made ttc seem more like a chore to my dh than an act of intimacy. My husband, thank goodness, shared his feelings with me and it was a slap in the face. I totally realized that I was not making this special at all. He felt used. I felt horrible. It's true though. All the other times in the month are great and intimate, then when ttc comes, I turn into a freek (it seems) and I loose focus on meaning and become completely obsessed with ttc. My poor dh. He is so sensitive and so sweet. I just tear up at the fact that I made him feel used. Ugh...makes me sick. BUT i totally understand. I can't imagine. Then of course that puts tonssss of pressure on him and we aren't even able to ttc. Does this all make sense? It is a big issue and I can imagine that we are not alone in this too.
NFP is a beautiful thing but it can also lead you down a path like above and you really have to redirect your focus and remind yourself of the gift of marriage and intimacy. So we had a huge talk about it. I thought it would ruin ttc this month but GOOD NEWS:) It didn't. We talked that night and were able to put it behind us and we were successful:) So it ended up being a wonderful blessing from God. Thank you Lord for the gift of communication...it really humbled me. But it was your prayers and our Lord that helped us through this. So thanks:)
So this cycle I was to take Fertile CM or Mucinex to help with the m. PPVI said I could take both if I wanted. So I thought, what the heck! I haven't been seeing much during ovulation and when I did, it wasn't as clear as it once was so I was hoping this would all help. Well it didn't.
I had one day this cycle where I saw 10k (maybe 10kl but I couldn't remember. ugh) and it was on CD 17 from 5 pm to 8 pm. That was it! WTH! Where did my m go???? What is going on??? But I did also try something else new this month and that was an OPK (ovulation predictor kit). You know what's funny...I think we have been ttc at the wrong times. Possibly. I don't know. I have always been ttc when I started seeing signs of 6, 8, or 10.
Anyway, on CD 18 the lines on the stick finally showed up (this was the day after my 10k) and that was when I had my LH surge so of course we ttc. Today is CD 20 and the two lines are still showing up. So this all means that I am in the process now and not when I saw 6, 8, or 10. Now I know that when you see signs of m you are to start ttc so that the sperm can swim. But when ever I stopped seeing signs, we stopped ttc for a few days (I guest to rest! haha).
The whole point to this is that I think I have been ttc at the wrong times. Maybe this month it was the right time!!! but then again, I had very limited m so ugh! So annoying. I had m all the time before my surgery. It wasn't ever clear, it was always cloudy. Then the cycle after surgery I saw 10k but it is very limited. Nothing like I had seen before surgery. This is so annoying. Now I'm worried....how the heck can sperm swim if there isn't any m to swim in!!!
Annoyed. Oh well. For some reason though I feel good about this cycle. I feel positive. So that is much better than feeling negative. PLEASE WORK SPERM AND EGG!!! PLEASE:):):) haha.
Ooo I need that Groupon! :) Fun! Ryan asked me when I'm ever going to paint my nails again. haha. Oops. I have let myself go. LOL.
ReplyDeletedon't worry about the M being there for the sperm to swim! There might be some in there you're not seeing, or they might live with limited m anyway! NO WORRIES!!! :)
Praying this was the month for you!!!!!!!
I'm glad you and your DH were able to communicate. And no, you aren't alone. :) I've seen this on many of the blogs. I Think it's normal for it to feel like a chore after awhile.
ReplyDeleteAs far as using the right days. I was told to use the best CM days. We didn't use the 6's, I can't remember if we used the 8's or not. But CM was something I was lucky to have. However, we were also told to keep fruit for 3 days after the peak CM day. I think this is b/c of the lh surge you talked about. Also, if you had 10K the day before there is still a chance that some of that good CM is still up near your cervix the next day, it just hasn't made it's way out. Make sense?
Hope this helps a little. :)
I had VERY limited mucus the month we conceived Dominic, so there is hope! Hoping this is the cycle!!!
ReplyDeleteFirst "Keep Fruit" made me laugh because I had no idea what that meant!! Ha ha!!
ReplyDeleteAs far as stress of TTC, we are so far past that stage that conceiving hasn't crossed my mind for years, but I do remember when I used to act crazy about timing and there was nothing romantic about it at all. For about the last 6 or so years, it has been totally different. And, let NO ONE tell you that if you relax and don't think about it, you will just get pregnant, because we haven't been thinking about it for the last 6 years of our 10 years of marriage, and still nothing has happened!!
I think EVERYONE goes through this. My DH calls it "mating in captivity." We have now gotten to the point where calling it my "fertile phase" is clearly a misnomer, so he refers to it as the "sexy phase" - on the theory that sex is likely to be most enjoyable for both parties at that time. (And indeed, biology tells us that this is true.)
ReplyDeleteI've also found that if I work from the "surely my husband will know that he has to have sex with me tonight. It's getting late! Surely he's planning to have sex with me before we go to bed. WHAT IS THAT HE'S PUTTING IN THE DVD PLAYER?! IT'S NOT TIME FOR A MOVIE! IT'S TIME FOR SEX!" and then sulk all night and refuse to speak to him the next morning, when, of course, being unable after all these years to read my mind (what is up with that?), he has not thought about us having sex - that doesn't work so well. If I start out assuming that he's as aware of life on Mars as of whether we should be having sex tonight and just walk in and interrupt his movie with no pants on, everything works much better.
Oooh man. Yes...we've had that ttc problem. It's almost robotic. It's terrible, but when you have to try, you have to try...even if you're not in "the mood!"
ReplyDeleteOh, I’m so happy things worked out. That is definitely a trap you have to guard against. When I first learned NFP, I remember our instructor warning about it and I thought, “that’s just crazy talk.” I was newly married and naïve, but once we started the TTC efforts, I could see how easily it could happen. Before we ever took the first clomid pill back in 2008, I talked to my husband about not letting me becoming a crazy person (more so than I already am). It is SO easy to do!
ReplyDeleteSounds like you have great timing this month!
Bless your heart, yes you are not alone in this. My ov in January we didn't even ttc on what I thought was the most fertile day because he felt the same way and it just wasn't happening. Like Nicole said, it is almost robotic, and trust me dear friend you are not alone. Anyone who says differently is telling a fib!
ReplyDeleteDidn't know groubon had mani pedi coupons?? Gotta check that out asap.
And those ovulation kits are a tricky business, I used to get positives for 3 days in a row sometimes - but CD20?? Bless your heart are your cycles so long?
You are definitely not the only one. I would ask my DH often if he felt like he was being used because I never wanted him to feel like that. I'm so glad you and your DH were able to talk about it.
ReplyDeleteAs for days to use, look at instruction I-2 (and I-1!) on the back of your chart. For whatever reason, women with limited mucus often ovulate on P+2 or P+3. So don't stop when the mucus stops!! :) Even after the mucus ends, it is thought that the pH change that the mucus caused lasts a few more days allowing the sperm to live. (At least that's what I learned in Practitioner training!) The environment is usually really acidic, which is hostile to sperm, so the pH change is key.
I hope this cycle is the one!! Praying for you!
Nothing worked for me mucus-wise except Amoxicillan. This month was the first month I used it with PPVI, after exhausting all the other methods (again ...after going through this with my GP and figuring that the Amoxicillin worked ... Oh well) you might try that. I've taken it with Fertile CM and B-6 sustained release. Hope this helps! ... Yes, I totally understand about ttc when you "are fertile ... Know you should be in the mood, but aren't". I can totally sympathize. Thank God for great husbands that put up with us!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you wrote the first two paragraphs! I can not tell you enough that I CAN RELATE! Like all the ladies said above, I think many of us have had this issue. Dh and I have worked so hard on this issue and thank goodness for our good communication~it only makes our marriage stronger. But, I am not going to lie-it can be stressful~
ReplyDeleteAs far as CM~ ever try Preseed?
Hope you had fun at the wedding~
Oh my gosh, Misfit's description is totally right!! It DOES feel like mating in captivity. I hate how IF takes something so beautiful and wonderful and makes us all feel awful about it. :( But I am glad you guys talked it out and are better!! Making up is fun. Wink wink. :)
ReplyDeleteI agree--Misfit's description sums it up perfectly!
ReplyDeleteI have no idea what all the Creighton lingo means since I used STM, but I can tell you that the ClearBlue Easy Fertility Monitor worked for us on the 2nd cycle of use (first cycle was anovulatory)! So hopefully that extra information helps for you.
Amanda beat me to it--you might want to ask about amoxicillin. I'm so glad you guys were able to talk about it and resolve things!
ReplyDeleteFruit...hahahah!
ReplyDeleteSexy phase--I like that:)! Misfit you crack me up!
Polkadot--I looked at the back of the chart! I totally forgot it had a back side. Helpful..thanks!
Amanda and not by sight-I am demanding (in a nice way) to be put on amox next cycle!
St. Rita--PPVI told me about Preseed. Isn't it just like Fertile CM???
Amanda--You need a blog so I can keep in touch with you the way you keep in touch with us bloggers!
ReplyDeleteI've thought about a blog ...nstill trying to come up with a name! :)
ReplyDelete