Great points on suffering/A little setback/Smiles

Friends, all 48 of you who commented (WOW), thank you soooo much for your love and support. I praise God for you daily...I mean that so much. I hope you know that. Also, I have to say this b.c it has been on my heart. I hope my announcement didn't hurt anyones feelings yesterday. Instead, I pray that it brought you hope. Please know, my sweet IF girls, that I am constantly drawn to God through all of you. I will continue to pray for each of you and your struggles. I pray so much for you who are struggling with IF and I want more than anything for your happiness. Don't think for one minute that you are out of my heart or mind:) I LOVE YOU WOMEN!


I have really been thinking a lot about this journey through infertility and I truly believe that God needed me and dh closer to him in ways we weren't before. So, He showed us this through suffering....drawing us closer to him through our own sufferings. And it worked. I have grown more in spiritual life these past two years than I have in my whole life. Speaking of suffering, it just so happens that on the day DH and I found out we were pregnant, we had already planned to go to Theology on Tap to hear a speaker on suffering. She had 5 reasons she thought as to why we suffered. Three of those really hit me hard.
1) Suffering unleashes love: When people around us suffer, we suffer. We pour out as much love upon them as possible. Suffering helps us grow more in the appreciation of the love that surrounds us. SO TRUE!
2) Suffering helps us be a witness to others: Y'all is this true or what! If it weren't for my suffering, I would have never discovered Y'ALL.  If it weren't each others suffering, we wouldn't be able to understand each other's sufferings. We sure as heck wouldn't be as strong as we all have become. Thing of how much our witnessing to each other has been a positive impact on our lives. This fact honestly makes me appreciate suffering. 

I started crying in the middle of her talk on this. My suffering is still there. IF will always be

 apart of me. It is part of who I am and but it never defined me. It actually helped me become a better person. Crazy thing...suffering brought me one of God's greatest gifts to me....an angel in heaven:)

3) Suffering helps us to grow in our spiritual life: This pretty much speaks for itself. We have all hit rock bottom...so much that the only thing, THE ONLY THING, that kept us going was our faith in God and His will..


I just wanted to share that with y'all b.c the whole time I was listening to her speak, I was wishing y'all were there listening too:) Speaking of suffering, I suffered a bit last night. I'm ok now, no worries but it was a hellasish night! At about 10 pm I started throwing up. YUCK! Hate throwing up. I would rather have surgery again and have to recover for 10 wks than have a night of throwing up. NO LIE! Well the throwing up wouldn't stop. It went on every 15-20 minutes. No big breaks in between. It was one after the other. By about 11:30 it was all bile...stomach lining. HORRIBLE! I decided I had enough. Nothing was working. Sucking on ice cubes, eating bread, nothing! I called PPVI emergency line. Especially with having found out I was pregggers, I didn't want to mess around with dehydration or harming my sweet little grain of couscous (it's probably smaller than that! ha). Dr. called me back and told me ER, IV, MEDs. I waited to see if maybe I would stop. Nope. Three more times. So off we went. Got to ER at 12:30 and was there till 4. Luckily I was one of the only people in the ER....I got in quick! They put me on an IV drip and gave me nausea meds that thankfully worked. I obviously didn't go into work today. I'm resting up and feeling ok. What the heck was it? Either chicken which I ate for dinner (but so did DH) or a bug? Who knows. I am still a little blah with weakness, gas and my throat has been eaten by acid but I'm doing much better than last night. Just gonna take it easy. 


Dh and I found out we were pregnant on St. Gerard's birthday and PPVI and I guesstimated my birthday to be Dec 12th which is the Feast of Our Lady of Guadeloupe!! Talk about wow here. I was reading a post earlier by this lady friend and she mentioned St. Gerard and Our Lady together and it just struck me how amazing it was that my news went along with these days. WOW! I'm still in WOW mode and probably will be from what you others say about not even believing it when your holding your baby.

Our first ultrasound is scheduled for April 28th:):):):) Now the last time we went for an ultrasound, we had a horrible experience. I don't want to go back thinking about that day. SOOO I am trying my best to be positive. Honestly though, I feel soooo good about this one. I didn't with the first one. I didn't feel right doing the IUI and I didn't feel right about the pregnancy. This one...FEELS SO RIGHT! THANK YOU LORD FOR DR. HILGERS AND NAPRO!!!!  Supposedly I'm about 5 weeks.  We leave for NAPA  April 21st (YES I PLANNED A TRIP TO NAPA AND SAN FRAN...PERFECT TIMING HUH!! Actually I would rather be pregnant any day over a trip. I'm just gonna be a true wine taster and taste and spit it out! haha). The nurse at PPVI was a bit worried about me having the ultrasound too early and maybe not hearing a heartbeat yet so we decided the day after our trip would be best.  What an exciting month ahead:):)


I'll quit blabbing now. Just wanted to catch you all up:) Now I am off to meet these new blogger friends who posted on my last post. Thank you so much and I really look forward to meeting your blogs:) OH AND PRAYER BUDDY, I AM PRAYING FOR YOU AT DAILY MASS EVERY DAY! HOPE YOU ARE FEELING IT. AND FOR THE PRAYER BUDDY WHO IS PRAYING FOR ME, YOU HAVE SOME KIND OF POWERFUL PRAYERS FRIEND:):) KEEP IT UP! 


LOVE YOU LADIES:)

LADIES:)

I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME.......................






I'M PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




Today is P+16. I usually start on P+15. PPVI said to test if you get to P+16. I woke up early and couldn't sleep so I tested and saw two bright bright red lines!!!!! I still didn't believe but was thinking holy moly, calm down. DH and I went to church. I went to do my blood at my dr and they told me the urine test was positive. Then they called me at 3:30 to tell me by hcg # was 2,592! HOLY MOLY IT IS REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I PRAISE YOU JESUS! OH and it just so happens to be St. Gerard's birthday:):):):):) Please continue to pray for me. As you all know, my past has been rocky and your prayers would be sooo helpful. Thank you all for your love and support. I know this announcement will bring some pain and that crushes my heart. Please know that I daily attend mass and pray for you ladies and this will never stop. I love you ALL.


PLEASE PLEASE if you are my friend on Facebook do not say anything about this. We are obviously going to keep this on the down low for a while. 

Pics and Blogger meet up idea!

Update: Just realized....It's my 100th post!!! Wow. Never ever thought I'd ever be a blogger and here I am at 100!!!

Hope you all had a lovely weekend:) I spent the weekend on the bay at my parents bay house. It was perfect weather. On Saturday night I talked my parents into trying sushi. We went out to eat at this sushi restaurant in our bay town and they LOVED it! So much that they want to go back!!! This made me so happy bc I eat sushi once a week and they have never understood why until now! Yay!

As I was about to post the pics for this post, I reminded myself again of the idea of having a blogger's weekend sometime in the future! Would that not be fun! We could all come stay at my bay house and have a fun, relaxing weekend:) I would love that. Just curious...would anyone be interested in that? If so, let me know! Maybe I can stir something up! We could do this sometime mid-June! You northerners could pile in a car together and you westerners could do the same! haha.

This is a view of the pay and my wharf in the early morning:)

Above is the boardwalk where I go running in the mornings. It is honestly perfect! I love it! Usually I dread running but running here, I just breathe it all in and it is so enjoyable.

This was the sunset on Saturday night before our sushi dinner:) Perfect!

One more thing...and the weekend!

I know I wrote about this a bit yester but I forgot to add something important that has to do with the health of your children or children to be! Please read to the bottom. You will be surprised at this info. There are over 17 published medical journals proving the goodness of Juice Plus. Check out the Children's Health Study. Also, here are some key facts about Juice Plus to consider:

•Delivers key phytonutrients that are absorbed by the body

•Reduces oxidative stress caused by free radicals

•Helps support a healthy immune system

•Helps protect the structural integrity of DNA  (This is huge esp b.c cancer is so rampant!)

•Promotes cardiovascular wellness

•Positively impacts markers of systemic inflammation THIS IS SO HUGE FOR MANY OF US IFrs!!!

It IS the next best thing to fruits and vegetables! My friend gives her baby 1 capsule of each per day but opening the capsule and putting it in his baby food. Also if you take it, your child can be on JP free for 3 years!

My friend's dad, Dr. Geogre Inge, M.D., who is an OBGYN in my hometown, recommends Juice Plus to his patients and their husbands daily. He also recommends they continue taking it once they conceive.
To learn more, please visit my website. Remember, Juice Plus is a whole food...not a vitamin!

Have a happy Friday. DH is going turkey hunting with some guy friends. Sounds boring to me! ha. I think they walk through the woods making weird noises hoping a turkey will walk out. hahha. makes me laugh! I'm headed across the bay with my parents this weekend to our bay house. I miss DH when he is gone but it really is good quality time I get to spend with my mom and dad. I love packing a bag and going to spend the weekend with them! We are trying out a new sushi place in our little bay town. It's supposed to be delicious!  It's suppose to be in the high 70s maybe low 80s this weekend. PERFECT! Sorry all you northerners:( I'll soak some rays up for you!

Going to mass right now to go pray for you lovely ladies:) So happy you are in my life. Man, I'd be psycho IF woman if I didn't have y'all!

Are you familiar with this???

Life is getting crazy with teaching these next two months, especially with 8th grade confirmation and graduation stuff coming up. This is the time of the year that I get a little impatient b.c they are so done with school (esp since they have been here since K) and they are checked out. So it takes all my might and discipline to keep them focused for the rest of the year. Anyone want to switch jobs for the next month and a half??? ha!


I've started getting to daily mass really early....like when the church lights are still off. Might sound creepy but I love it! I just sit there in peace...I wish I had an hour of it! ANyway, I pray for you. I go through my blog roll in my head and think of the recent posts I read and I pray for you. I even sometimes write things down to remember to pray for. Just know...you are in my thoughts friends:) Esp you my prayer buddy!


As far as infertile life, it's still infertile! ha. I'm on P+8 so another 8 days until I know anything. UGH! Patience is a virtue right:) Kinda boring on this end as far as the IF topic goes. Excitement aka baby, if you want to come, you are oh so welcome!


After getting to know so many of you (via blogs) I have realized that I totally have forgotten to share something with you; something I find to be very important. Listen up and do the research! For the past 3 years we have been taking something called Juice Plus. It is not a vitamin supplement. It is 17 fruits and raw vegetables in capsule form. Anyway, a while back when we were starting to ttc, a friend approached me about the importance of Juice Plus. I was hesitant but I did my research (plenty available) and realized how beneficial it was. I am not trying to throw you a sales pitch. Honestly. I'm just telling you because I really care for your health and well being. I stressed and stressed when we first started ttc about my health....about eating as many veggies and fruits and fiber and protein, the list goes on, all in one day. I couldn't fit in all that I was supposed to. That is when I made the switch to Juice Plus. (Sorry this sounds so sales pitchy.) My husband, and family (mom/dad/sis & fam), have been on it for 3 years and we are very pleased with it. It can benefit you and your child in so many ways. My nieces and nephews take the gummies. Anyways, check out my website and especially watch the video. If you are interested, let me know. I know a few of you already take it! Great:) Even if you just have questions, let me know. To be honest, it took me about a month of thinking and researching before I agreed to it. If you choose not to, no hard feelings:)

Hugs ladies:) Off to watch Survivor with the dh!

Weird month and a blogger who needs your support!!

So weird. Yesterday was CD 25 and I had 10CL AD....on CD 25! I have never seen such late signs before...ever. I started to see signs on CD 16 with LAP (left side abdominal pain) so I knew that those were probably signs of ovulation. I felt the LAP until CD 19. I saw one night of 10KL for 3 hours and that was it of the K. Then after that I saw 10K every other day until CD 25. WEIRD! Def not consistent. LORD I REALLY WANT A BABY...SO IF YOU CAN DO THIS SOON THAT WOULD BE GREAT!

Fertile CM did nothing for me...neither did the mucinex. I still of course have hope for this cycle b.c I saw some positive signs and we were able to ttc a good amount of times after the "talk". Thanks for that support by the way. You were all so awesome in your support. It really comforted me to know that I was not alone about the "talk" issue. Anyway, if I don't get a BFP then I assume PPVI will put me on amoxicilin for CM production.

Daily mass for lent has really been healing. I am definitely going to continue this after lent. DH and I got into an argument last night about it though...isn't that horrible! Hate arguments. (He is doing daily mass with me for Lent.) He mentioned how he doesn't really get much out of daily mass. I tried to not get on the defensive and be understanding but it really hurt my heart to hear that. He is Catholic, he does go to mass with me on Sundays, we do pray daily. It's not that he isn't involved...he just doesn't get what I get out of the mass. He understands the  meaning but he is not a very deep person. This isn't a put down it's just that he really isn't deep nor does he really think about all the theology aspect. So, when it comes to his faith, I feel it is not as mature as I would want it to be. Then I think I am judging...ugh. So we talked about it and expressed ourselves last night. He basically said that we are two different people and we are not the same nor will be the same...I totally agree and understand. But I crave faith, God, trust, prayers, etc. He doesn't crave it like me. I know that doesn't mean he is a bad person but it bothers me at times. He really is the sweetest, most precious man. He does pray with me often and I just love this so much. He also has faith and trusts in God's plan for us and this whole IF battle. He just isn't deep in that way so his faith isn't deep either. Am I making sense? I just worry about him and his relationship with God and whether it will be good enough for God. I know i know that I am not perfect but I do strive to do well. Of course, I could always do more. Shoot, I worry about my relationship and trust in God too. Anyway, maybe I just needed to type this out to get it off my chest again. 

What made me feel all better is that this morning I left to go to church and he came and met me:) He was so cute. He came in and sat in my pew and just smiled at me. It was so precious. He is trying. Thank you God:)


Last but not least, please please help me console and support this  blogger. She needs us! Also I encouraged her to look into NaPro so if any of you want to add more encouragement that would be great!

Thank you & frustration with M!

First of all, thank you so much for your prayers the other day. I really needed them. And you know what...GOD ANSWERED! I'll finally explain. Lately I have been distracted with ttc so much to the point where I have made ttc seem more like a chore to my dh than an act of intimacy. My husband, thank goodness, shared his feelings with me and it was a slap in the face. I totally realized that I was not making this special at all. He felt used. I felt horrible. It's true though. All the other times in the month are great and intimate, then when ttc comes, I turn into a freek (it seems) and I loose focus on meaning and become completely obsessed with ttc. My poor dh. He is so sensitive and so sweet. I just tear up at the fact that I made him feel used. Ugh...makes me sick. BUT i totally understand. I can't imagine. Then of course that puts tonssss of pressure on him and we aren't even able to ttc. Does this all make sense? It is a big issue and I can imagine that we are not alone in this too. 

NFP is a beautiful thing but it can also lead you down a path like above and you really have to redirect your focus and remind yourself of the gift of marriage and intimacy. So we had a huge talk about it. I thought it would ruin ttc this month but GOOD NEWS:) It didn't. We talked that night and were able to put it behind us and we were successful:) So it ended up being a wonderful blessing from God. Thank you Lord for the gift of communication...it really humbled me. But it was your prayers and our Lord that helped us through this. So thanks:)

So this cycle I was to take Fertile CM or Mucinex to help with the m. PPVI said I could take both if I wanted. So I thought, what the heck! I haven't been seeing much during ovulation and when I did, it wasn't as clear as it once was so I was hoping this would all help. Well it didn't. 

I had one day this cycle where I saw 10k (maybe 10kl but I couldn't remember. ugh) and it was on CD 17 from 5 pm to 8 pm. That was it! WTH! Where did my m go???? What is going on??? But I did also try something else new this month and that was an OPK (ovulation predictor kit). You know what's funny...I think we have been ttc at the wrong times. Possibly. I don't know. I have always been ttc when I started seeing signs of 6, 8, or 10.

Anyway, on CD 18 the lines on the stick finally showed up (this was the day after my 10k) and that was when I had my LH surge so of course we ttc. Today is CD 20 and the two lines are still showing up. So this all means that I am in the process now and not when I saw 6, 8, or 10. Now I know that when you see signs of m you are to start ttc so that the sperm can swim. But when ever I stopped seeing signs, we stopped ttc for a few days (I guest to rest! haha). 

The whole point to this is that I think I have been ttc at the wrong times. Maybe this month it was the right time!!! but then again, I had very limited m so ugh! So annoying. I had m all the time before my surgery. It wasn't ever clear, it was always cloudy. Then the cycle after surgery I saw 10k but it is very limited. Nothing like I had seen before surgery. This is so annoying. Now I'm worried....how the heck can sperm swim if there isn't any m to swim in!!!

Annoyed. Oh well. For some reason though I feel good about this cycle. I feel positive. So that is much better than feeling negative. PLEASE WORK SPERM AND EGG!!! PLEASE:):):) haha. 

Enough about that. We have a wedding this weekend so we will be participating in wedding festivities all weekend. Should be fun! I bought a manicure/pedicure Groupon so I get to go get it today! It is 50% off! I'm excited:) My toes and nails should look all pretty:)