Wake up calls

So my last post I was all bummed about my IF and mentioned my worries about DH and his age. Thank you for those who commented and gave me comfort. A couple things have happened this weekend that have really made me put things into perspective....


I got a phone call Friday after school from a friend informing me that one of our good friend's brothers had died. His wife and children came home from school and found him....absolutely horrible. I was so sick hearing the news. He was only 40. He had Type 1 diabetes his whole life and he had had the flu all last week. Autopsy won't be back for a few days so we won't really know the cause of death till then. This is a complete shock to our community here. Here I was worrying about my dh and his age when we have kids and this happens. It quickly reminded me that worrying about the future is pointless. We are not promised tomorrow. We need not worry about tomorrow. We need to live and love all that we have today. "Worrying only changes the worrier." Please pray for this family, especially the wife and the two young kids.


I spent the weekend at my parents house helping them take care of my sister's kids. She and her dh took a weekend break down to the beach. They never get time to themselves. I definitely spoiled them with a little TCBY:) And I finally had some myself! With this diet, I have been so good but come on...I have to give in sometimes. I loved being with the kiddos and the parents. Fun, relaxed family weekend spent listening to the giggles of a 5, 7 and 11 year old. The are my joy!


DH made it home safely today. YAY! Duck hunting has officially ended and he had a very successful season. Thank you Lord for his safe traveling back and forth to me. We spent the day cuddled up watching TV by the fire:) LOVE Sundays!


I read a really awesome post on a new blog today. Mrs. Henderson  introduced the post on her blog. I couldn't help but do the same. It was another wake up call for me. I swear God sent me this message today...thanks to a lovely blogger. (Where would I be without you ladies:) This post was honestly the most beautiful IF post I had ever read. It comforted me in so many ways. I had never thought the way she thought about IF. Thank you.


I never heard back from my old doctor. Weird huh. She approached us. We responded. I called and left message and haven't heard back. Strange. I'm hoping to hear from her this week. I hope she didn't just pop in and out. I felt as if that is kind of a tease. I was ok with not telling her. Then she comes back into the picture and now I'm anxious to tell her. Then she doesn't respond. Huh!

Our fire is dwindling down. Off to get in bed and cuddle with my dh. When we say our prayers, know that you are always a part of them. Night night. Hugs friends

Dr and T3

Thanks for your encouragement with the last post. I'm assuming I am going to get a phone call from her soon. Oh the nerves will be acting up! AGH! They are already!!! I will be sure to inform you on how it goes.

PPVI called today. They upped my dosage to 15 (2 pills in a.m. and p.m.) I was expecting this...esp b.c my temperature yesterday was 96.7..haha! That is so not normal. I don't have any other symptoms (that I am aware of), except that I am abnormally cold all the time! I have tons of energy and I sleep well and am well rested. Crazy stuff. Sew, you listening??? Thought you would be interested:)

My 7th & 8th graders were assigned a paper this week. Title: Your Favorite Teacher. We had a substitute fill in for the English teacher yesterday. She came up to me at the end of the day and said "Are you Mrs. Awaiting?" She told me that tons of the kids were writing about me. What a reward! It made me so happy:) Sometimes its hard teaching teenagers...you wonder if you are really impacting them. Then there are comments like these that make it all worth while. Love them!

This weekend is DH last weekend of duck hunting!!! YAY! I get my dh back:) haha. He had so much fun. Each time he went he would send me pics throughout the day. Little does he know that I am making him a duck hunting book with pictures of him and our dog and their duckies. He is gonna love it! Then comes Mardi Gras season. Oh the festivities!

Last thing... I had a break down recently. Typical "I want a baby" breakdown. The one thing that just got me was my dad's bday is this month. He will be 70. He was 38 when my mom had me. DH is going to be 37 in March. We don't have a baby yet. I desperately want a family and I so scared about not being able to. Then I think, what if it takes forever and dh is really old when our youngest children are teenagers. Oh the thoughts that the devil just puts in my mind. GO AWAY DEVIL! I HATE YOU! I was so confident over Christmas. Then again, we weren't trying yet. Now we are trying and it's all coming back...that anxiety. STOP! Lord, please take this all away from me and bring me a sweet baby....soon! I don't want to ache anymore. I'm trying to trust...trying. It's so very hard!!! It's only cycle 2 after surgery and I'm already like this. UGH. GO AWAY!

Off to lunch. Every time the thought enters I'm going to try and kick the devil to the curb. Please pray for my strength and this situation. I know many of you are struggling too so please know that when I pray, I pray for all of us. Hugs:)

Friend & Unexpected Text

Well I heard from my friend's, D, husband and she is doing really well after surgery. YAY! Another successful one from Dr. H. I really appreciate you all praying for someone you don't even know. I know she felt your prayers:)

So talk about random and unexpected.....Last night DH said "Guess who just texted me?" It was our old Dr. here in Mobile. Background before continuing: 

     Personality: She is a very loving soul, yet she is the most blunt person I know. She is very caring, yet she is very intimidating (until you get know her truly). She has a soft side, yet she seems tough as steel. She has a very good personality, yet it is very strong (hince intimidating at times). When I was 16...she scared me to DEATH! I have grown to know her and get her and she became one of my favorite people. 

   Connetion: DH and I felt very close to her. She is a close family friend to both our families. Tears of happiness filled her eyes when she found out we were engaged to each other. She never knew we were dating at the time. Long story short, dh had a special connection to her because he and she were apart of the same network of friends who had some struggles in their past. So they kind of had a bond. Then along with that bonding time, she is friends with both our moms. She also saved my grandmother and aunts' lives from cancer (catching it early). So you see, we were close. It took everything in my will to approach her with DH and tell her that we had decided to chose another option (Dr. Hilgers). I can't explain the amount of hidden stress that built up inside of me before sitting down with her. We respected her so much that we didn't just want to pick up and leave....we wanted to be honest in why we chose to go another path...so we were. She was overly supportive. I knew she would be but something inside of me gave me a little inclination that she would be offended....she would say "fine, go to another option, but you won't have success." Yet instead, she explained to us the importance of feelings. How this is a feeling that we have and we can't hide it. If we are not comfortable, we have to trust our instincts, etc.... I left feeling as if the elephant jumped off my chest and ran down the street doing cartwheels!

On to text situation.....Dh didn't respond last night. We thought...let's think about it. Then she texted again this morning. She said "Hey, it's Jane Doe. I just was checking to see how things were going with y'all." I'm assuming she thought we didn't get the text...no problem. We had to respond. DH and I went back and forth. He thought 1) Thank you for thinking of us. Bryant is 8 week post op and doing great. 2) Thank you for thinking of us. We are doing great.  He choose number 2. I, however, thought differently. I immediately felt this was a call from God. She was honestly caring for us....honestly curious about how we were doing. I felt we owed it to her and ourselves to follow through. (Backtrack: When Dr. H asked me if I wanted to send my records to her, I chose not to. At that point, I was up in the air about how to approach her with all the things he found wrong. My thoughts 1) In sending her my records, I could be helping others. 2) In sending her records, it could be a slap in the face...one that offended her. I never could make a decision, so I didn't.) Now, I was approached by her and I felt it was respectful to respond with respect back. Not something short. She is curious....honestly curious. So, I decided to text her too. My text: "Hey Jane Doe. It's Awaiting. DH told me you asked about us. Thank you for your thoughts. A lot has gone on and hopefully all is good now. We would love to share it with you if you are interested. Just let me know."

Elephant is cartwheeling back slowly to me but I'm keeping it cool. She will probably respond at some point today I'll let you know. This means I am probably going to have to sit down with her and explain everything to her. How the heck do I begin????? "Well, they did bloodseries and found out I had very low progesterone and thyroid issue. They did lap and discovered endo and PCOS. They did laparatomy and removed endo and did wegde resection on ovaries. Now I'm healing!" It's sooo not that easy. HELP! This is going to be major humility in your face....yikes.

Life and Friend Prayer request

My friend D is having her surgery today with Dr. Hilgers. Please please lift her up in your prayers today.

ATL with the girls was fun!! Friday night we went out to a sushi restaurant....ate yummy sushi, drank yummy vino and enjoyed each other's company. Saturday we went to brunch and sat around and watched movies all day. haha...I'm laughing looking back at all of us scattered around on the blowup mattresses, couches, love chairs, floor, etc enjoying movies and chatting. Saturday evening I went to mass at Christ the King...it was an absolutely beautiful church...loved it! Then Saturday night we all got in the cars and headed to Whole Foods!!! We all wanted different kinds of foods so we decided to go there b.c there were so many options. I shared a cheese/olive/meat assortment with my friend....along with some yummy vino. I felt like I was back in my heaven...Italy. We stayed up till 2 am chatting/laughing away and watching Mamma Mia...LOVE that movie! Sunday came quick and we headed home. I was anxious to get back to DH but had a great fulfilling weekend with the girlies.

Got my results back for prog and estr. My levels were all good with the help of the HTC. Yay! Prog went up right around where it should be. I started T3 this weekend. What a pain it is to take your temp/pulse all the time. The whole adjusting your pill taking time around eating is a pain in my booty. I love food/snacking too much to adjust it all...oh well. Question: I take it on an empty stomach (2 hrs after eating) in the mornings but can I eat after? I had a snack 30 minutes after I took it. It said 1 hour before OR two hours after so I assumed since I did the 1 hr before I could then eat after I took it. Let me know please:)

DH and I snuggled last night after being separated this weekend. I love how much we have grown. I swear, even among all this IF suffering, I can't get enough of how much love has grown for us. Of course we loved each other on our wedding day but it really does just get better and better. He sends me the sweetest texts when we are apart and then when we are reunited we act like we haven't seen each other in ages. We just can't get enough of each other. Yesterday he backed his truck into the driveway and immediately peaked his head in the window to see where I was. When I spotted him I ran outside and we just hugged. Thank you God for this loving LOVE! I feel so blessed to be with this precious loving adorable funny sensitive man. We are approaching our 3 year anniversary. We were married 1 year from the day we started dating. I can't believe it has been this long since we have been together.

Enough sweet talk for now. Please pray for my sweet friend.

Neon red!

Some of you might think I am absolutely crazy BUT for the first time I have neon red instead of bb. Like the color of this font! HOLY MOLY! I never thought the bb would go away. Dr. Hilgers...your work amazes me! I always thought bb was normal...that was until I met the NaPro system. Thank you Lord for fixing me up! Now if you could just bring me a baby, that would make it all complete. 

I started my T3 this morning. I already forgot to take my temp when I woke up. Oh well. I doubt it will be the first time. Questions: I read on the sheet that it said to take the T3 on empty stomach or an hour before eating. I didn't do that either....I took it, then read that part, then realized I had to eat to take my antibiotic before going to work. Then it said take every 12 hours...on the dot....well that means 6:45 tonight...darn, right when I want to eat. So, since I just took my first pill today, can I switch the times and take at 5:30? That way it's an hour in the morning before I eat and an hour before I eat at night. Curious. Oh and one more thing...I drink water (and it's cold) all day. Isn't that going to alter my temp????

This whole charting of temp/pulse thing is right in the middle of my classes (11 and 2). The thermometer is not quiet...it beeps every two seconds. My kids are going to think I am crazy weird! As if they don't think that already. I can just imagine...."Kids, quiet for 1 minute while I take my temp and pulse. And, don't talk to me b.c then I will loose count."

Anywho, today I leave for Atlanta to go have my martini with my girls tonight:) We have this group of 14 girls from high school that have been friends ever since. Of course we have gone off on our own ways (some single, some married, some with multiple kids), but we have all stayed in contact. 2x a year we try and all get together. This weekend is one of them!! I'm super excited. Tonight we are going out for sushi and drinks. Tomorrow we are doing brunch and mimosas! Then watching movies:) Then cooking out tomorrow night and drinking vino! Fun fun with the lady friends! Love good ole times of reminiscing! Do any of you live in Atlanta and happen to be going to mass on Saturday evening? I could maybe meet you and go to mass! Let me know.

Hugs, loves and blessings friends. Have a good weekend. Thank you for being in my life!

What's new...

CD 1


Darn. Was hoping to be one of those "1st cycle after surgery and got pregnant" people. Oh well. Hopes too high. No worries though. I'm ok. I knew it was coming but had that little inch of thought of maybe. 


In reality, I know it won't be right away so I prepared myself ahead of time not to be too distraught. I know some of you have waited forever and still are waiting...I hope you don't get mad at these thoughts. I haven't been able to try since last March so I am just now getting back into the swing of things.


Going to Atlanta this weekend with my high school girlfriends and I plan on having a big fat martini tomorrow night:) Maybe two! haha

UGH

So do you like my new blog design:) I love it!! I know I keep changing. I thought I liked my last one and then I came across this one and LOVED it! So this is it for now.

So I am biting my tongue and some of you are probably going to laugh at me and think, "I told you so." I told myself I was going to be fine with the 2ww. I told myself I wouldn't go back to my old crazy self after all my surgeries. Well, it's creeping back in slowly. BUT no worries, I'm trying my best to keep it away but it's hard. I know, I know...you told me so! The thing that is so annoying is the prolonged cycle. I'm on P+14 (I usually only make it to P+9 or 10) and nothing yet. I know this is my first cycle on HCG. And I know that it said it can lengthen my cycle but really....what a darn tease!!! I know I am not pregnant but then the devil keeps tempting me to think "maybe!" STOP! Whoever is reading this and does HCG shots...did it lengthen your cycle too? My boobs are sore so I know I'm going to start any day. Just bring it on already!

Ok, I'm done. Just had to get it off my chest. I am not talking about it with anyone except my dh so sometimes I just have to let it out somehow. I know some of you are thinking...you are such a wuss....I have been going through this forever. Well, I know. I have too. But this is different for me b/c I'm finally recovered from my surgeries and starting a new.

I spent MLK day propped up with my computer planning away for our trip to San Fran and Napa. There is so much research to do! It is very distracting though and I love planning:) My husband keeps asking me "What the heck are you doing spending so much time on the computer?" haha. I didn't get anything around the house done yesterday b.c I was trying to plan away while he was at work so when he got home I could be with him. I can't really plan while he is around b.c then he will get suspicious! heehee. Sneaky me;)